The Winds Of Change Are A Blowing

This year has definitely been a year of change for me. When I look back at January until now I'm really surprised at all the stuff that I have had the opportunity to experience and try. It's really quite cool in fact to see where I've come from to where I am now. In fact it was one of my New Year's resolutions to step outside the box, but something I have noticed with stepping outside your box it changes you. For the better? For the worse? I think it all depends on how you view life. Something that didn't occur to me was that once you step outside your comfort zone you can never go back; all the boundaries you once knew have moved or they have completely disappeared. What that does is cause you to move forward and take another step further from "the old you." Some days moving forward is easier than others, but the one thing you can never do is stay still. Oh, trust me when I say there are many days when I think where in the world am I going? And it scares me to death. I try to think back to who I use to be before marriage, before children. There are still the insecurities I have of a graphic designer who never felt truly good enough. The one professor who felt the need to question every decision I made, which I swear still plays havoc on my psyche. But I also realize that you can only let that control you for so long. At some point you have to stop playing the victim. So, with all that said "the winds of change are a blowing!" I can either choose to go with them and enjoy the exciting adventure that awaits or I can choose to stand stagnate and fight the desires to let go and be free.

Taking A Leap Of Faith

On the heels of our Walk, today I was emailed by one of our ministers if Kevin and I would present the Children's Sermon at the 10:55 service on Sunday. At first my stomach was in my throat, my palms sweaty and my head spinning. Us talking in church in front of...well, everyone? Just for one brief moment I tried to come up with an excuse, we would be out town or I was planning on being sick that morning. Then it hit me out of nowhere like a ton of bricks, after everything we experienced over the past two weekends - we could do this.

I called Kevin and told him what was going on and it occurred to me that JoAn really thought we could do this and wanted to give us this opportunity. I should feel honored. I won't lie and say I'm not scared, because I am. I don't stand in front of crowds talking, heck I really don't like attention put on me at all. Yes, I get up in front of a group of people with a microphone on and dance around, but that's a different part of my personality. But to get up and just talk, is an entirely different story. Wow! It's amazing to me how God works, I've been praying for courage, humility and guidance since the first of the year. I can't believe this is actually happening. Stay tuned, I think it only gets more exciting.

Wow!

that is all I can I say about this past weekend. My life is definitely forever changed because of my Walk To Emmaus. I have felt every emotion in my body from happiness and tears to love and joy. I have truly seen and experienced Christ in ways I never imagined. It definitely changes a person I can say that very confidently. I am seeing the world in a totally different light and have become a different and better person for it.

I think one of the many lessons I have taken from my walk is to enjoy this journey called life and not to anticipate. There will be times in our life when we will be on top of the mountain and then there will be times we are deep in the pit and still other times we are just treking along. But no matter where we are in life, God is always there loving on us and leading the way. I think it's only human nature to want to lead especially when we have no idea where in the world we are going. I have realized this past weekend that we must trust, such a small world but with so much power in it. In Proverbs 3:5-6 it says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge him. In this past weekend, I trusted God and boy what an adventure we went on, it was awesome!

De Colores!

No Computer, No Cell Phone

I'm leaving tomorrow evening to go on my to Walk To Emmaus for the weekend. Please keep me in your prayers for I will be without my computer or cell phone for basically the next 72 hours. Yeah, I'm a little nervous and a lot excited all at the same time. Kevin went last weekend and had a really good time even though he really hasn't shared anything with me per say. There is this kind of unwritten rule where you don't really divulge anything, so there won't be any expectations. I have actually been wanting to do this for about a year now and now the time is right. I know God will do amazing things weekend because every retreat I've every gone on has been amazing and I'm sure this will be no exception.