will i ever be well, again?

if you can believe it i'm still sick. not with the flu but with sometype of upper resporiatory infection, i think. i have this lovely cough i can't seem to shake. why me? i swear it always seems to be something, uh? i keep putting off going to the doctor, but i think today i'm finally gonna give in and call. i hate going to the doctor's office...all those sick people. ha, and i'm one of them.

happy 9th anniversary

yes, today is mine and kevin's anniversary - nine years to be exact. i truly can't believe it! i so wish i could tell you that we had this wonderful romantic get-away planned, but come on that only happens in the movies, right? well, at least for me it does anyways. no, today will be spent taking lacey to the doctor for her well check visit and then the girls have choir tonight along with wednesday night supper. yes, it's basically a typical day around the daniell house.

lacey was suppose to have her well check visit last week, but somehow there was a miscommunication between me and the doctor's office. i thought they told me one time when in actuality they told me another. so, they ended up cancelling my appointment. when i went reschedule this was the first available day and i jumped at it. i so wanted to get it over with because from what i can remember lacey will probably be getting about three/four shots this morning. you know that will make for a great day! not! i so have a feeling its gonna be a long day...

now seriously...

for weeks now i've been toying with the idea to really get personal and open myself up. i feel like i share so much of myself on my blog, but it's usually happy stuff. i like happy stuff. it makes me smile and it makes realize how truly blessed i am, but for some odd reason i'm going take you to a dark place i was in not to terribly long ago.

i can't really put a finger on when i started feeling not quite myself, but i do know that by the time school was finished back in the spring i was finished as well. i had become angry, edgy, mean (according to the girls) and just down right indifferent. i didn't want to clean my house, cook, play with our girls, etc. i would write in my journal about how unhappy i was in my life, but never sharing any of this with you. my darling husband kept encouraging me to go to the doctor but i so didn't want to. finally i realized just how miserable i was. i went to the doctor telling him how i thought it was my hormones. we talked for a while in regards to everything i had been experiencing. my blood was even drawn and tested. he ended up prescribing me an anti-depressant, lexapro. i was not happy when the prescription was handed to me. he told me of the side-effects which really turned me off, but then he also total me of the benefits. after much thought, i decided that i just needed to give it a try and see what happened. don't worry about the side effects, focus on all the positives. well, i'm happy to say that i feel like myself again. what a wonderful feeling! i have my energy back and i'm loving life. the vibe in the house is much more calm and peaceful and i personally prefer it that way. life is good, god is good and i truly feel blessed. i don't really think about the negatives. i won't lie and say that they don't cross my mind, but doesn't everything we do in life have sometype of effect? good or bad?